i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
she smelled like a LAN party
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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