I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize