Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
