I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
