Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
