I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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