obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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