That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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