if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Damn victory sex feels great
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
