I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
