I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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