I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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