D3 body, D1 cock
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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