Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
