i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
