; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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