This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
