we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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