ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
