I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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