Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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