sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pooping to opera.
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