are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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