McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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