You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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