absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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