Me. At least after what I've been through.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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