he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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