so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
