sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ketchup is God's man juice
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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