is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
