drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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