i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
