awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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