my mouth tastes like poor choices
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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