Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize