Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
