I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
