You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
