farters have to be the big spoon...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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