i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize