sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
