The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
