I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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