Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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