took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
