Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
