Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
