dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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