we're blogging at a bar
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
