the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
