and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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