I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
