i will never coherently bang her
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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