Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
