Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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