i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
just found out that she named her cat after me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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