my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
bring money and cleavage
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Randomize
