so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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