false alarm. still invincible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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