I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
