Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
