Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
