Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize