when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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