One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize