he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
