i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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