man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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