She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
