You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
