Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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