Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
