How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize