this just has baby written all over it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
