The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
