honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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