He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize