When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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