TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
