I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
