I am full of burrito and curiosity
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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