so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
