Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
