loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
