So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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