my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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